Creepy Guy

Saturday morning: the telephone rings...

*Ring!*
ME: Hello?
GUY: (heavy breathing) I just woke up, and the sun is coming through, I thought about you. Oh God, help me.....
ME: Um, who is this?
GUY: (heavy breathing) Some one who loves you very much.
ME: Who is this?
GUY: (heavy breathing) Think about some one who loves you very much. I think I'm getting strep.
ME: Do you have the right person*?
GUY: (cough, heavier breathing) Yes, you don't even recognize me.
ME: I don't think you have the right person.
GUY: (heavy breathing, despondently, angrily) YOU DON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME!**
ME: Who are you looking for?
GUY:(heavy breathing) Michele.
ME: This isn't Michele.
GUY: (heavy breathing, full on despair) OH GOD! I got the wrong number!
ME: (reassuringly) It's ok. Have a good day! (thinking, "Don't ever call here again, freak.")


*Roomie has a stalker guy who, while halfway normal and never engaging in such creepy conversations, is creepy in his own right. I thought it might have been him.

** This conversation was much much longer, but most of it was him getting increasingly angry and insisting he had the right person. Plus lots of excessive heavy breathing. Really not worth writing about.