Sunday, November 30, 2003


Not happy, not happy. I hate living here so much. 3 weeks till I go home. Why do I hate this place so much? I am stuck. There is no going to somebody's house on long weekends or having a halfway normal life. I'm all depresed though because I just spent the week with my awsome boyfriend and his wonderful family and now I am back in hell and it is raining. Poo. I really want a cat right now, but, alas, all I have is sheep. I could find a dog, too. Everybody here is a dog person. No no, I want a kitty. The week was pretty entertaining and I wil tell all when I am not so sad.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003


Sorry you haven't been getting exhilarating updates from Hawaii recently, but I have about a zillion and one things to do before I leave and have gotten about 10 done. I will be in Texas the week of Thanksgiving spending holidays with RS and his family. I am meeting his parents for the first time. I'll be back on the 29th and will tell all about it. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. Any special plans?

Good Thanksgiving movie- Pieces of April

PS~ Ghani, do they celebrate T-day over there? You could always start explanations with "When you guys persecuted those of different religions and sent over your unwanted people to die in the new land, and before they killed all the natives and stole their land..."

Saturday, November 15, 2003

WAY Too Funny

What is more disturbing than bacon loincloths? Rubber themes! Or how about your mom stripping at your birthday party? According to reports, her son was embarassed.

Friday, November 14, 2003

One More Time Waster

Catch up on your dead baby jokes.

Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby.

Ah... Mindlessness

Once again the internet has provided me with countless was to avoid my homework. Everything from making tampons into angels to making fake obituaries. If that isn't enough time wasting, then how about ordering new breath spray or joining the fight against clown porn?? If that still isn't enough, just find out what serial killer you are.

If i was a serial killer i would be Jack the Ripper.

Jack the Ripper, by far the most notorious killer of all time. What would drive a man to kill 5 prostitutes, surgically mutilate the bodies, then stop, to never be heard from again? Most of the murders were pretty much the same, the victim had her throat cut and her abdomen exposed, the intestines were placed over her right shoulder and sometimes a kidney or even the heart had been removed.

Jack the Ripper's murders are still unsolved.

Thursday, November 13, 2003

I'm Afraid to Know

I was just reading the print on my diet orange soda from Safeway. It says, in largish print, SODA WITH OTHER NATURAL FLAVORS. I don't know what to make of it all. Is soda a natural flavor?

It Would Shame My Name

I went to the Reel Big Fish concert last night. Ska must be the hardest music that reaches over here because everyone decided to mosh to it. It wasn't like a circle mosh pit or anything. No, it was a few moshers dispersed in the entire crowd o you had to mosh whether you wanted to or not. It isn't even moshing music. They were all stoked about it afterwards. "OMG I moshed so hard to that song." or "That was a good mosh." were the common consensus among the exiting crowd. I want them to go to a PMK5 or a Manson concert and REALLY see what is moshing music. You can't listen to ska and mosh at the same time. I'm being redundant because I want to get my point across. Now, I was close to the front because, while I don't even like Reel Big Fish, I was going to have a good time. I was getting pushed around, too. I'm a big girl, I can hold my own, until I found they also didn't know the cardinal rule: if some one falls down, you pick them up. I fell. I then found myself with a 300+ lb. guy on top of my. One thought ran through my head: "I am NOT dying in a FUCKING mosh pit at a Reel Big Fish concert". I would have been SO embarrassed. I am kind of embarrassed I even went.

Monday, November 10, 2003


I had a weird dream that I was wearing black pants with letter of the alphabet on it. The strange part was I had a penis. The stranger part was it was pierced. The strangest part was that I still had my female parts and neither myself nor anybody else thought this was weird in the least.
I finished my paper on how a rhesus monkey fetus lung develops!!! YAY!

Papaya Stem Makes a Good Pipe

Saturday I went to help build this structure for the people in the people volcano to stand on. The people volcano is made of several models, climbing on this thing, who are then covered in a sheet soaked in quick drying plaster. I am one of the models for this. I was chosen, well, because I have a big ass. Anyways, I went to the garden where we were putting this thing together. One of the other models and I went and got starfruit and coconut from the garden for breakfast and lunch. There were about eight people there working and we had "such positive energy" according to Brotha Joe. There was a lesbian couple there (one did not shave armpits), a really tall skinny guy named Dark who brought his daughter, Brotha Joe who is the man with the vision, the model who went with me to get fruit, and a professor in the art department. At around 1 PM, some one went and got beer, and somebody else went into the garden and picked a papaya stem off of the tree. Apparently, putting a small rock in the papaya stem acts as a little screen while letting smoke go around it. If you smoke it at night, you can see the glow of any hot ashes that may have escaped. This is also apparently common knowledge among real islanders. It reminded me of the McGiver (sp?) smoker in Half Baked. "I need an avocado, a snorkel......."

Lesson of the day:
Papaya stem makes a good weed pipe.

*Note: I did not participate in any chemical activities. Not my bag, not even beer with surgery later and around people I don't know.*

Friday, November 07, 2003

One Day It Will Hurt

I want to take this moment to talk about chairs. Specifically, I want to talk about my chair this LOVELY university provides me with. We will ignore the stiky stain on the apholstery for right now and talk about the mechanics of it. It is designed to "prevent" people from falling out by rocking slightly back and stopping due to flat dents on the rocker part. This is complete crap. If you so happen to put any sudden pressure on it, say in popping your back, you will fall slow motion. I do this on a daily basis. They are trying to kill us here- first fattening us up- and then trying to kill us.

Do You Know...

...seeing an Asian midget on a tiny scooter right after chemistry is the funniest shit ever?
...skipping one class allows for millions of productive things to be done because the offices on campus hold crap hours?
...a fleace blanket makes an excellent cape?
...if you curl in the fetal position and tell people to stop and go away, they laugh at you?
...vegan black bean soup/chili with rice and cheese is the best thing our cafteria serves?
...the baked potato lady is seriously attached to her bps and didn't want me to have one? She kept taking it back!
...Safeway's generic Dr. Pepper is called Dr. Skippy?

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

I Like the Angel of Death

I found a nifty game where you are God and you have gotten angry at all the living beings. You must destroy as many as possible with your automatic lighting bolts and your new weapons; you get a new one on each level. I got to level 5 and decided I needed to go to bed. I like the little game while the real game is loading, too.

I'm Sure It TRIED To Piss On Me

I have a question for all you dog owners who go to college or owned a dog while in college: Did you take your dog to class and let it run around and sniff people like it would just LOVE to piss on their shit? No? Tell that to the chick in my class who brought her dog to class and let it run around and sniff people like it would just LOVE to piss on their shit. Yes, I understand we are mostly animal science majors and I understand it is an animal ethics course, but chick could have just brought in a picture or something. Let me just make something common knowledge- I don't like dogs. I love animals. I do, really. I would not clean up sheep shit and hand feed the little ones if I didn't like animals a whole lot, but I don't like dogs. I especially don't like dogs coming over and sniffing my backpack like it is great fun to find new territory. I wonder how chick would like it if I brought my cat in to vomit and scratch up her stuff. Maybe I'll try it next week.

Sunday, November 02, 2003

It Smelled Like Sweaty Guy, Cigarettes, and Liquor

So now I am 100% sober and have viewed video (yes, it is on tape) of Halloween. I also had a miniature party last night so here is a chronological order of momentous events of the past two days.
1. Got shit faced and started calling everybody on my call list. Only one of my friends and my sister answered.
2. Walked to the bus stop and got a glowstick from some chick named Kendra. Mine was orange, but I stole a drunk army guy's blue one.
3. Pissed in the bushes of a bank with exceptionally thick foliage.
4. Bought cigarettes.
5. Walked around Waikiki and wrote drunken cursive on some guy wearing a chalkboard.
6. Stopped at Taco Bell on the way back to campus.
7. Flashed some car to let us get over into their lane.
8. Walked in to see some guy running naked out of his room with a towel around his waist followed by another guy. He said, "Whoa, that was close, you almost saw the biggest dick on the island." I said, "I doubt it." He said, "Oh really, want to see?" and showed it to me and the 3 girls I was with.

Last Night:
1. Drank a little bit, just buzzed for about 30 min.
2. Told RS some things I probably shouldn't have (2 weeks and 5 days till we see each other!)
3. Listened to RS's Halloween night. Apparently he humped a plastic Frankenstien, made out with a keg, licked beer off the floor because he was spilling it, and jumped into the pool fully clothed.
4. Saw the guy who showed me his dick. I said, "NICE DICK!" He said, "Yeah right , you never saw it." I told him that he did the night before. He didn't remember what he did the night before.
5. Saw the video of Halloween with me asking how big everybody's penis is and yelling at them until they answer me.
6. Had 3 Army guys dress in my dresses.
7. Came back from watching a movie to find a sweaty, smelly Army guy on my bed.
8. Kicked him out of my bed, made him sleep on the floor on my comforter, sprayed my bed with body splash, and slept on the side farthest away from where he was.
9. Did laundry this morning. Washed all my sheets, including my comforter.

Saturday, November 01, 2003


So I ahve 3 halodays when I say to yself..."self, you need to get drunk". today is one of those. halloween. expect similar posts on new years, groundhogs day and he fourth of july.. that's four hoidays. nevermind. i dressed as a cheerleader tonight and got showed a penis from the guy on the first floor. I like waikiki. All sorts of dun shit here. updaste will come when sobriety has been resitableshd. ok. byebye!