Where Was the English?

I finished reviewing a paper on a experiment wit ha terrible design done on cattle involving Interferon-Tau. I won't get into why this was a terrible experiment, but basically they didn't use enough subjects and they didn't find anything new. What I was depressed with was the language. There were so many grammatical errors, I though my head would explode. I was talking to Palila at the time and most of my anger came out in that conversation:

ME: i have to review a 21 page paper that repeats everything over and over again about how cows recognize pregnancy.
ME: i really don't care.
SHE: ick
SHE: you don't care?
SHE: about the cows?
ME: about cows
ME: all of this to find out why people sometimes have problems going into labor
ME: lots of mechanical mistakes. he repeats lots of words, spells lots of words wrong, and misspelled "prostaglandin" in the title
ME: that's probably why it is so freaking long.
SHE: wow
ME: he starts 9 out of 10 sentences with either "in brief" or "the present study reveals".
SHE: eek
ME: they are a canadian group.
SHE: of cows?
SHE: so they're probably all mad!
ME: researchers are canadian
SHE: mad
ME: true
ME: "new emerging concepts..." isn't that a little redundant?
SHE: um..
SHE: sorta?
ME: "...might be a key regulator of P4 action in these both tissues."
ME: this english is killing me
SHE: hahaha
SHE: crazy canadians
ME: one of them is Doc's former graduate students
ME: one of*
SHE: hahaha
ME: There are sentences without verbs!!!!!
ME: NO!!!!
SHE: hahahaha
SHE: sounds like a blog
ME: blogs don't talk about polycrine actions
SHE: haha
ME: subject verb agreement just ran out
SHE: haha
SHE: and the george-paper agreement probably ran out a long time ago
ME: FINISHED THANK GOD!!!!!
ME: i have to go to english pretty soon. i think a freaking monkey on a typewriter could have written this better.
SHE: hahaha
ME: well i must be off to Mr. Man's class
ME: i will ttyl. ta-ta!!
SHE: bye!

My personal favorites were gaols (goals), "In experiment, we did this", and "...in these both tissues". Prosdaglandin (Prostaglandin) in the title and missing references were also winners.