Sunday, February 01, 2004

Shouldn't You Be Licking Something

Roomie and I went out yesterday. Here is a night in review, categorized by location:

Sears: I found an awesome birthday shirt! Happy Birthday to me. I also tried on this outfit that made me look like an awkward red-polka-dotted elephant. The shirt looked nice, but the skirt was not built for some one with large hips. The shirt really did looks nice...
Drama: A group of middle schoolers were arguing. You know, the fat, bossy kind in hoochy clothes that almost always turn out to be hos in high school.

Sears does not have an accurate bathroom scale. I was either 100 lbs or 160lbs. Roomie was either 93 lbs or 145 lbs, but she is neither (she is much shorter than I).

Hallmark: Looked at cards. Stocked up because I remembered everybody's birthday.

Old Navy: I bought a pair of slippers (sandals) because I have walked the heals out of mine several times over.

Gap: Walked in this 3 story establishment to find zero (0) shoes.

Sephora: Got holiday make-up on sale for $5.

The Body Shop Kiosk: Put smelly stuff on while Roomie bought a present for her mom. The dark brown body butter with the nuts on it smells SO good.

Tower Records: See "Canadian Club Love" below.

The bus stop: We sat at the sketchiest bus stop in Honolulu. The bus stop is right outside of a sex shop, next to three (3) exotic dance clubs and a tattoo parlor on one side of the street. Across the street is a shady night club that I am boycotting due to their mistreatment of animals (they keep monkeys behind the bar). While waiting at the bus stop, Roomie and I got hit on 3 times, got stared at by an old man in an SUV, got yelled at numerous times, met some guy waiting for the same bus as us that never came, saw and infinite number of slutty outfits and bad hair, heard glass break about every 15 seconds, got fully view of the people going in and out of the sex shop, and called TheBus to find out when ours was coming. They said ten minutes. We waited 30, got fed up, and started walking only to find that the walk is about 15 minutes and well lit (for the most part). We got worried when the street lights would go out as we passed them. The route also took us by a Taco Bell and the ice cream store.

Taco Bell: Some drunk/high/crazy not homeless guy came up to us during our taco experience and said, "Can I have some change or something, I'm saving up for a bean burrito. Just throw it at my face, or throw a brick or something." Roomie gives 50 cents. He says "I love you!" I give him 22 cents. He says, " I love you, you guys are wonder..." He then drops 12 cents and Roomie says, "You dropped some change." He kind of stares at it a while and then bends down to pick it up. "Come here Mr. Lincoln Winkin. Mr. George Washington." Then he walks up to the Order counter and says, "Hey!!! I GOT IT!! Come here teenie beanies!! My little beanie weanies. I love beanie teenies!!!!!!!" I assume after this he either walked out or was thrown out because we didn't hear from him after that. He totally interfered with my taco experience.

Bubbie's (shouldn't you be licking something?): This is my FAVORITE ice cream store, and is probably the only thing besides the shaved ice place I will miss. We got mochi covered ice cream. Mochi was invented by some freaking smart Hawaiiaese (Hawaiian/Japanese) person who pounded rice until it was chewy, soft, yummy, and mochi-asm-tastic. It was like three mochi/ice cream orgasms for $2.50. Bubbie's serves a wide variety of ice cream-tastic delights including: A Functioning Prostate, Come Here Little Girl, Bite Me, and the wonderful Bite My Balls which includes 16 scoops of ice cream. Their motto is, "Shouldn't you be licking something?"

Dorm: RS calls me drunk off his ass and crying. He says he wishes I was in his arms right now. I tried to coach him to his bed. Finally I said, " I think you need to go to bed." He said, "You always tell me these things, and you're usually right. Even when I don't know it." It made me feel strangely like a dominatrix, and I kind of liked it.


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