Melting Make-Up

Qualifications for meteorologist in Hawaii:
Lots of make-up
Skinny
Blonde
Sadistic as fuck
No actual skill involved

The first three are self explanatory, the other two need a little bit of explanation.

No skill involved: This is because you always say, "High in the 80s, chance of rain, partly sunny, and lows in the morning around 65." Some where all of these are true. The only time it isn't true is if there is some HUGE glaring phenomenon, like the tornados.

Sadistic: Most residential places are not air conditioned because the wind keeps them cool. For the past 5 days there has been zero wind. The weather people think this is fucking hilarious because they are in air conditioned buildings 24/7. They laugh and say, "The trade winds will probably be non-existent till Wednesday, ignore these false returns. You are going to be fucking hot as hell. HAHAHAHA!!!" I hate them. I hate them so much.