Monday, October 20, 2003

In Hawaii...

...the best time to empty the two large dumpsters in front of my window is at 5:45 am. This works best if done as noisily as possible. The more people you wake up, the better your job was done.

...1.5 hours is too short of a time to make up a test you have already taken. This is especially true if the test is made of exactly the same questions.

...when you don't need on AOL you can get on, but when it thinks you are doing something important, like replying to your sister's email, it will kick you off. (look in the Mexican or hot sauce aisle, sister)

...the time difference sucks.

...it is likely you will get threatened, beat up, or picked on if you are white.

...cheese throwing at 2 am is a sport. If you get it all the way down the hall, leaving chunks behind, and get one chunk in the bathroom, you are a champ.

...the excuse for every sexual act, shameful or not, is "I was drunk."

...the excuse "I don't want to drink" is not acceptable.

...there are funny trees that cause allergic reactions on EVERYBODY.

...if you weigh over 100 lbs, you look like a heffer.

...people will make fun of you if boys always cat-call you. They tend to blame it on your boobs, but you blame it on the boys. No, the boobs were asking for it.

...the proper way to say hello at 3 am is to honk your car/moped/bicycle horn for a full minute.

...to get your point across or to make a valid statement you must say "like" 5 times in each sentence and follow the whole statement up with "yeah", e.g. "Sorry, yeah. Thought it was you."

...Coke is a rare product. If you don't like drinking Pepsi, you are SOL.

...there is an ice epidemic, and I don't mean there is a frozen water epidemic.

...you can't walk across the street without stepping on 25 feral cats.

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