Vouch This

I have a voucher to use for my incredibly expensive plane ticket home in December. I got this voucher for $300 when I so graciously gave up my seat on a flight and agreed to fly out the next day. When I tried to use this voucher online, I was informed I must call 1-800-fuck-you for redemption because it was issued before May 26, 2004. I find this odd because the total domination of e-ticket kiosks and the obliteration of people who know how to make tickets on the regular magic airport computer happened long long ago. Long before May 26, 2004. Why then must I have to deal with people at when getting my tickets?? The only people I want to deal with are the people who strip search me (it's the most play I get all year), the people who give me drinks and food, and the people in the isle I wake up when my bladder screams out in pain (always during rough patches of sky). Bizzare.