We Had $5000 Lying Around

As you all know, I am supposed to reapply for my scholarship each year. I was denied for 2004-05 school year. When I went to pay my tuition, however, I had a balance of $86 because CTAHR had waved my tuition. I'm not complaining, but I find it odd. Maybe they forgot to take me off the list. I'm not going to remind them.

Update

Well, I am no longer in The Big JC. I have moved to Louisville with my aunt for the remainder of the summer. Currently I am working at Hermitage Thoroughbred farms. Yes, Horses. Everyday I go in and groom the horses, clean the brushes, give them food and water, and scrape the poo off the floor. Everybody says that it will be a good experience with my major (animal science). Aparently you need a college degree to scrape poo off a floor now. I don't think the head of my barn likes me. He is actually kind of mean to me. I like it better *sigh* at IHOP where I could make $100 a night and not get my hair pulled or crazy bruises all over me. The good thing about the barn is there are no perverted, gay, stupid, and rude dwarfs working with me.

I ran over my phone on Wednsday and couldn't buy a phone in KY because KY phones won't work with my TN account eventhough they are EXCATLY THE SAME. This makes no sense to me why the company woiuld do this, but it is a common thing. I need to pay my storage bill and I can't call. I think I need to borrow a phone.

The Job

Congratulations to me, I have a job. I have a job (another one) at IHOP. I have a job at the IHOP in a neighboring state. The IHOP in Virginia has given me a job. I am working second and third shift at the far away pancake establishment. "Why a job in Virginia?" you may ask. The answer is simple; nobody in the Big JC wants to hire people just for the summer. The IHOP here (my former employer) said "NO!" My friend and former manager, Anton, gave me an interview at Ruby Tuesday's. Unfortunately, Anton's boss said, "Not if she's just here for the summer, bub." I was desperate. It was at this interview I ran into an angel I used to work with. The Angel is working at the IHOP in Virginia and asked her General Manager to give me a job. He said he would. When I went to apply for the job, he handed me an application. After he figured out who I was, he took the application out of my hand and told me to call the next day for my schedule. It was the easiest interview I've ever had.

The real lesson to be learned here is leave everybody you know on good terms if you can. Good Karma really does work wonders.

The other lesson is that linen pants are the most comfortable garment ever.

Domestic Terrorism

So I was at a club on Thursday getting my swerve on. I was talking with two of my friends when all of a sudden my throat started tingling. I started coughing and couldn't stop. I decided I would breathe through my nose, but that just made me sneeze. The girl I was with walked with me around to the other side when we heard the DJ go "Somebody thought it would be cool to spray some mace in here. If you know who it is, let me know."
Of all the uncool things I have been witness to at clubs, this was probably in my top three uncool things. It isn't fun (or attractive) to walk around a club hacking. Honestly, what pleasure do you get out of making people cough?

On an unrelated note, has anybody noticed how domestic terrorism has become almost comical? I know NPR had a sketch on A Prairie Home Companion, I'm sure SNL probably has had one too.

My Good News

With many good rock groups disbanding and regrouping, and the introduction of all these whiny, emo, sound-all-like-crap bands being born on MTV, it sometimes is hard to get really good news from the music world. Here is my good news. Creed is breaking up.

"Creed songwriter/ guitarist Mark Tremonti has decided to join forces with Creed drummer Scott Phillips, original Creed bassist Brian Marshall and former Mayfield Four singer/ songwriter Myles Kennedy. The new band, named Alter Bridge, will release their debut album on Wind-up Records on August 10th of this year. Expect a promotional acoustic tour of radio stations later this Summer, followed by a worldwide tour to begin in late August or early September."

The new band's sound is supposed to be edgier. I expect good things from them because Scott Stapp (the lead singer of Creed) would never have made it anywhere without his band. In fact, Stapp was the reason I didn't like the band. It's not very becoming of a performer to get the band into a legal battle by passing out in a concert. It also gets annoying when EVERY song sounds the same because the guy's voice has a span of eight notes. Whenever I listen to a Creed song, I can hear the band wanting to go all out and not be hidden behind some crappy ass vocal performance.

It is a happy time.

Can God Really Save Him?

Apparently Terry Nichols is counting on God to save him from a death sentence for the 161 counts of first-degree murder.

"The sister of Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Terry Nichols testified Monday that her brother has found God in prison as Nichols' lawyers began trying to persuade a jury to spare his life in the 1995 bombing.

Suzanne McDonnell, Nichols' younger sister, told jurors that Nichols had become more committed to religion since their mother was diagnosed with cancer four years ago. "

So he reads a bible and they expect him to be excused of a death sentence when there are women on death row for killing their abusive husbands? If he does get of with a more lenient sentence, we'll know who is really in charge of the country.

The Incident

When I got back to Johnson City, I found out that one of my ex-boyfriend was set to be married on May 29th. To a lying stealing ho. Nice, unattractive girl who steals her fiancee's and his housemate's money and painkillers. And lies about it. Even though dear sister doesn't like him he doesn't deserve a biatch like that.

I sat and talked to a friend about all this way past the time I needed to leave if I was going to get dinner in time for a 7 o'clock graduation. When I got to the graduation I found out it actually started at 8. I ran out and got a chicken biscuit and a big sweet tea. As I was sitting in the parking lot, the chicken biscuit flew out on my hand and attacked my sweet tea which ended up bleeding to death on the floor board of the passenger's side of my car. Time was nearing for the start of the grduation so I scarfed the rest of the biscuit and threw some towels on top of the gutted sweet tea. After graduation, I took the Fat Ballerina home. We stopped at a trash can on campus to clean out the rest of the evidence. A campus cop stopped us and said, "Ladies, is there a problem?" We said no, and started babbling about a rouge chicken biscuit and an unsuspecting cup of sweet tea. The campu police followed us till we left ETSU campus.

Made the decision I am going to be a rebel and drive my expired tagged car out to do my errands today (except the DMV errand, that's just asking for it).

The Big JC

Just letting you know I am back on the mainland! I am enjoying being home and spending time with my friends and all. Here is my list of things to do today:

Go to DMV and get a replacement license
Go to Firehouse for a job interview
Get more applications if that job is a no go

Easy enough, but my car tags expired last night. Nobody told me until this morning. I thought it was very thoughtful to tell me before I went out on the road. Suddenly I remember my argument for getting a car in the first place... neither of the parentals will take me anywhere.

Sister dear, when you are at the Big House, does S-Babe ask you to come home by 9 pm? I was at Cousin Robbie's and she called me on two separate occasions. Once at 8:50 and once at 9:45. The Parentals have started doing it too, wanting me home before 12. Is there a memo I missed? The "living by yourself in a big, unfamiliar city for a year bypasses your right to go to clubs with your friends" memo, did I miss it?

Momentary Break

The computer is now being packed up. See you all on the mainland.

GOOD NEWS!!! Roomie, originally planning to stay in California, has decided to stay here!! YAY!!!

Play With Me

"Veins are tapped by one means or another and the blood is collected." Introduction to Animal Science by W. Stephen Damron

Instructions:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

French Braided Porkchops

I saw something today. I think everybody should have one. This guy had a full on beard with sideburns and moustache and everything. What he did was he made French Braids in his porkchops until his chin where he put them into one single braid off the tip. He also walked all over the side walk with the occasional step into the grass or road. Pictures of Facial Hair.


Side Note: Remember Jesus in my Chemistry class? He had a shirt for the Organization for the Advancement of Facial Hair (OAFH). Can anyone find me a working link to that site?

Calculus Derives Me Crazy

I took my calculus final today. It was like getting fucked up the ass, menos el Vaseline. I know most of you are, for lack of better terms, computer geeks and graduated from computer schools with computer books and computer classes, including higher levels of calculus. Just bear with my sorrow at losing this one for I am but an animal scientist, unworthy of such knowledge. I deal with reproduction, not the volume of curves around the y-axis. I am, however, finished with this devil. I don't believe I got below a C in the class (in fact, despite my bitching, I think I got a B), so I should never have to take the brutality of it all again. Unfortunately, I will probably not retain ANY of the information. On the bright side, I got $56 for my calculus book alone. Animal Science gets sold back tomorrow, and physics a day after that.

The Exorcism

The song "Tubular Bells" makes me very happy. It makes me want to watch The Exorcist, which also makes me happy. Watching The Exorcist in French or with director's commentary makes me even happier.

The Nicest People In Hawaii

Nicole and I have had a hard time finding a storage facility that can provide us with afoordable, available space. We were looking for something about a 4x8 or a 5x10. Most places gave us quotes from $95-$137 a month. Most places were very rude to us, empty, far away, or a combination of the three. I got hung up on twice and redirected to a wrong number by three different facilities. Nicole got two of the iciest, coldest, meanest people there ever were. We both talked to a number of storage facilities with no vacancies. The last people I called were A-American Storage. They were the nicest people I have met on Hawaii thus far. I called twice, once to ask and another to reserve my spot. Each time they remembered my name. When we went today they took us up to choose our space. They remembered my name, that I was a student, and had me talk to the same guy I talked to on the phone. They even gave us free boxes and a 25% discount, leaving us to pay only $75 a month until September 1st. I felt like I had to smile leaving that place. They have the best customer service I have ever encountered and are probably the friendliest people in Hawaii. If only my bank was the same way...

Wish me luck on my calculus final tomorrow.

Porno

For those who have never read any of Irvine Welsh's books (Trainspotting, Acid House, Glue), let me start off by saying they are wonderful. Currently I am reading Porno, the sequel to Trainspotting (I read that for a monologue in theater two years ago). The only problem with reading a book with the title Porno is that you can't read it just anywhere without getting strange looks and remarks from people. This could be coupled with the fact most people out here don't read for fun and most don't know Trainspotting was a book before it was a movie. This makes it even harder to explain who the author is when asked about the book. Most of the time I get the haughty sideways glance from "proper women" on the bus or in a sandwich shop. I also get the leering check out look from the more unsavory patrons of my public reading areas. I think it is fascinating how one word, a book title, can make people assume I'm into the sex-industry. I don't think it looks like a how-to manual. Maybe it is because it is a seemingly taboo thing. If I were reading Construction Work for Dummies, I do not think many people would believe I was looking to be a construction worker. Maybe it is that people don't know what to think when they see the book except it is somehow wrong. The most common vocal reaction I have come across is somebody seeing the title and saying "Porno?" and nothing else. Not "Is that a dirty adult book?" or "Are you in the porn industry?". No. Just "Porno?"

My Career As a Pollster

Try taking my Blunt Truth quiz. In this safe environment you can answer questions and give me an idea of how much you hate me.

Feliz Seis de Mayo

I hope everybody had a fun time last night for Cinco de Mayo. I had quite an eventful day filled with comida mucha (much food) y cerveza mucha (much beer). To start it all off, I talked to my sister on the phone an discussed plans. She was going to Krogers for food stuffs; I was going to the mall for a new watch. I stole a Japanese nwespaper and cursed at many number 4 buses (I needed the 6) while sister was on the phone. Roomie made REAL enchiladas. The were SO yum. Since I didn't get out of class until 20:00 last night, I decided my comida contribution would be Velveeta and Rotel dip. When I went to the grocery I found zero (0) cans of Rotel tomatoes. I just used diced tomatoes and chilies, figuring it was the same thing. It was.

After we fed all of us (8 people) we started with the Mexican drink. Nicole and I thoroughly enjoyed our Coronas in the pool. There is nothing more relaxing than sitting in an inner tube drinking a beer. Following the beer in the pool were the shots. I gave my first body shot to one of the hostesses of the evening. This was followed by much more of the intoxicating beverage for every one, but not from between my busom. In true Cinco de Mayo form, Roomie (the only Mexican on the island) ended up with her head in the toilet, bathtub, and trash can.

Good times on Mexican holidays.

Salsa! Merengue!

Hola, amigos. Happy Cinco de Mayo! Today, after classes are done at *20:30*, I will be going down to the apartment. Two of my girlfriends just moved in. Last night Nicole and I made spaghetti and meatballs in meat sauce. It was yum. Celebrations for tonight should include some tequila, Mexican food, dancing, and Mexican music. Oh yes, and we will be partying with my roommate, a bonafide Mexican. We all have one more reason to celebrate in the 808, today is the last day of classes. Finals are next week, and I should be on the mainland in less than two weeks. I will be with Palila for a good first bit, so I may or may not see some of you soon!!

Have a happy Cinco de Mayo, but please don't let Jose drive. Find some poor sap who will be willing to be a DD, call a cab, or walk.

Here is some Cinco de Mayo history to put you in the merengue mood.

Writing On The Wall

Saturday I got out of the shower and noticed a bird sitting in the hallway. I put on shoes and started trying to chase the little bugger down three flights of stairs to get him outside. I got him down to the second floor and he flew from wall to wall just sitting there. Since I had just gotten out of the shower, I had a towel on my head. I was also taking a pizza box out to the dumpster (have to watch out for cockroaches and all). I thought I could lure him out with crust, but in the end I looked like a crazy person with a green towel on their head, waving crust at a bird, yelling and fussing at it. The stupid bird even hopped up and down the halls chirping to piss me off even more. Then the dumb bird flew up to the fourth floor. He's still up there as far as I know and he chirps when I walk up the stairs. This story is not about the bird. It's about the graffiti I saw on the second floor on either side of the second floor RA's (Resident Advisor) door. It was written in black Sharpie marker.

On one side was:
"[RA's NAME] NEEDS DICKS!"

And on the other side:
"Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks!"

Some one had tried to cover them up with our Crime Alert posters (posters that tell us when there have been sexual assaults or violent crimes on campus). Later that day the offending graffiti had been drawn over to make a kind of stained glass mural artwork effect.

Sunday, Ghetto Hall residents got this e-mail:

To residents of Ghetto Hall B,
Recently, two large patches of graffiti were discovered in GHB 2nd Floor. I need anyone with information regarding this vandalism to contact me, as soon as possible. The estimated cost of repairing the wall may be in excess of $1000-2000. If the person responsible is discovered, we can avoid charging residents to pay for the repair work. If we do not learn the identity of the person(s) responsible, these charges will be assessed as a group charge.
We are also taking steps to identify the culprit(s) by having the handwriting analyzed and compared to resident handwriting in our files. We will update the hall when we receive these results.

My phone is 462-6277. You can also reply to this email message.

Please refer to the Student Housing Handbook for more information regarding vandalism and group assessments.

Thank you,
Peter McNally*

Hall Director
Ghetto Hall
xxxx Pineapple St.
Honolulu, HI 96822
*Names have been changed for my protection. I don't give a shit about them.

I think they both need to pull the sticks out of their asses. See the second floor RA is a big asshole who nobody likes. Not even the other RAs. He wrote a letter about how they were all incompetent. He was an HD (hall director) at another dorm, but got demoted and kicked out to an RA in our dorm. HE probably complained to our HD who was complacent just to shut him up. I wish they would just quit with this Gestapo crap because nobody is going to confess. You can clean off the wall or paint over it. White paint does not cost $1000. They could even have that floor's residents clean it off/paint over it. I think they are all dumbasses.